thursday 13: week 1

13 thing that are on my mind

1) the festering germ bath that is public school. both kids are home sick again with coughs, snotty noses, and low grade fevers. we've all got cabin fever and dare i say, i'm sick of it. both the kids' teachers are great about hand washing but really, i can't control who/what they come in contact with when they are at school. poor bubbies.

2) facebook "friends" who leave vaguely racist and otherwise offensive status updates. ya know, the ones you don't know quite well enough to call out in a public forum? i'm bothered but also curious to know when they'll put their feet in their mouths again and therefore unable to unfriend them. oy.

3) jersey shore. i'll confess i have a "situation" on my hands. i haven't watched mtv in over ten years but i cannot tear myself away from this quasi-italian train wreck. (no, not all sicilians are like that.)

4) boots. i'm on a hunt for flat, knee-high, leather riding boots. apparently i should have purchased the pair i found at christmastime because despite the unyielding rain, department stores believe that it's already sandal season. *scratches head* really?

5) my mother-effing thyroid. i had radiation to my thyroid when i was in cancer treatment and have been hypothyroid since then. apparently my meds have been too low these past few months and it took me this long to put together that my dry hair, irregular cycles, extreme fatigue, thinning eyebrows, etc etc are all indicators of something not quite right. my fantastic ob bumped up my dose when i saw him a couple days ago and i'm hoping to be feeling right as rain in a couple weeks.

6) a vacation. i am aching to travel lately. anywhere. name the place and i'll go.

7) the crazy number of engagements, weddings, pregnancies and births around me. is it that we're quickly approaching 30 or is it true that every single person i've ever known is either engaged or pregnant or has been recently married or squeezed out a baby? these are all joyous things and made all the more joyous by the fact that we get to attend a huge number of parties in the next few years, without the responsibility of cleaning up....or changing diapers.

8) this gloomy weather. seriously, is it spring yet? no? really you're forecasting another dreary week? bummer. cause i miss GOING OUTSIDE. i miss working the farmers' market without 25 layers of clothing on. i miss swimming.

9) anne hathaway's eyebrows in the princess diaries. my LORD, someone help those poor caterpillars stuck to her face!

10) under the dome by stephen king. after the novel i just finished (venus in furs) i needed something light. this is a page turner, er, whatever you call it on a kindle. i'm only 3% in (who knows how many pages that would be) but i'm thoroughly entertained.

11) my birthday. yup. i'm turning the big 2-8 next week. have i mentioned that this is my favorite holiday? :D

12) those terrifically ugly exercise shoes that i'm seeing everywhere. you know the ones that tone your butt while you walk? sketchers has shape-ups; reebok makes easy tones. and guess what. they're BUTT ugly. i saw them in person last night on my unsuccessful quest for boots.

13) that crazy bar ben made last week with smoked almonds, peanut butter, nutella and cherry marshmallows among other things. damn you landslide bar, damn you.

the way we weren't

i'm on another rampage of purging stuff from the house. after cleaning out the kids' closet i scavenged in my giant cd collection. i pulled out about 25 cds to get rid of. i also wound up with a stack of rewritable cds that were unlabeled and needing to be identified. i found several discs with downloads from napster (remember when they starting blocking it in college dorms?), shitty mixes given to me by who knows who, an extremely boring powerpoint presentation i had to do for an extremely boring occupational psychology course, old creative writing documents, and finally, an essay titled 'inspiration' that bk wrote during college. if i ever read the paper i don't remember it; it didn't feel familiar to me.

part of me would like to publish this paper in its entirety but since it isn't mine and i can't properly credit it, i won't. the gist is that bk and i ran a marathon with the leukemia and lymphoma society after i finished treatment, how my will to survive inspired him, how he pushed on during the last five miles knowing i was just a little behind him. i'm struck by a few things reading this: 1) apparently i DIDN'T read it; it clearly hasn't been proofread for grammatical errors ;) 2) there is a tone of deep friendship in this paper, even when talking about us being married i can't find any romantic love; we were such good friends, not the best partners 3) a single sentence stands out - celeste helped me survive her illness - because it sums up so perfectly our relationship, who we each were as individuals, so intertwined in our own version of codependency.

bonus question: i'm sure there are mountains of relics with items like this cd waiting for me in the storage unit. i've thrown some things away (my wedding dress) and i'm holding on to others for the kids (my wedding band). what do you save? what do you throw out from past relationships? for yourself? your children?

'to be poised against fatality, to meet adverse conditions gracefully, is more than simple endurance; it is an act of aggression, a positive triumph'

every time i spend time with lisa i am amazed at her delicate strength. on one hand, i don't know how she's managing to stay upright with all the running around she's done in norton's memory (or maybe that IS how) and on the other hand i know that grief is something that has to be moved through. it is both palpable and obscure. it is alternately fast-paced and unhurried, sharp and dull. it requires that we stand up, bear witness to it, and submit to it entirely. it requires that we lay down, let it wash over us, swallow us completely.

lisa is a dancer. she's fluid and resilient and balanced. she'll endure this. and gracefully. i love you lisa and admire you greatly.


here's a review of the concert from here, with a nice slideshow too.

Nobody wanted it to happen. They all wished there was no need. Yet, they showed up to pay tribute to their fallen comrade Norton Buffalo, who died at age 58 on Oct. 30 after battling lung and brain cancer.

"We are going to miss him," remarked the Doobie Brothers' John McFee. "But the idea is for Norton to be here while we're playing."

And he was — at least in the hearts and thoughts of the performers and the sold-out audience that turned out to the "Tribute to Norton Buffalo: A Celebration of a Life" concert on Friday night at the Fox Theater in Oakland. The concert — which repeats tonight at the same venue — turned out to be a moving night of music that did justice to the great legacy of the Oakland-born, Richmond-raised harmonica hero.

The cast included Bonnie Raitt, the Doobies, Steve Miller, George Thorogood and Elvin Bishop, as well as many other artists that had worked with Buffalo over the decades. They gave of their time for many reasons — not the least of which was to raise money to help Buffalo's family with the medical expenses incurred during the harmonicat's illness. Perhaps the main reason, however, is that they knew Buffalo would have been there for them.

"If there was a good cause," Maria Muldaur remarked during her time onstage with Bonnie Raitt, "Norton was there."

That's one of the reasons Buffalo was so popular in the local music community — by all accounts, he was an extremelygenerous and giving man. It's that trait, more than all the platinum records that he played on as a sideman, which defines his legacy. It also explains why organizers were able to easily assemble such an impressive lineup for these tribute shows.

Following an opening set by Buffalo's old band the Knockouts, Raitt took the stage and performed a blues-soaked set of solid tunes. Raitt, who'd enlisted Buffalo's services on 1977's "Sweet Forgiveness," was joined by guests including Muldaur, harmonica guru Charlie Musselwhite and slide-guitarist-supreme Roy Rogers. Raitt was in fine voice and spirits throughout the set.

"Buff-a-palooza!" she howled to the crowd. "That's what we got going on."

The Doobie Brothers, who utilized Buffalo's mighty talents on their Grammy-winning 1978 album "Minute by Minute," followed Raitt and turned in what was surely the set of the night. The seven-piece band, which featured two drummers and three guitarists, chugged through a dozen great tunes that, collectively, screamed that the Doobies deserve to be enshrined in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The group, which was joined by Elvin Bishop for a few numbers, displayed mesmerizing harmonies and ace musicianship throughout the set. Some might've forgotten just how many stand out songs the Doobies have in their catalog, but the steady succession of hits performed at the Fox — including "Jesus is Just Alright," "Listen to the Music," "China Grove" and "Black Water" — served as a joyous reminder. It was odd, however, that the band shied away from playing the big hits from "Minute by Minute," given that Buffalo appeared on that album.

The headlining slot was reserved for Buffalo's best-known collaborator, Steve Miller. The two began making music together in the mid-'70s and Buffalo remained in Miller's band for the rest of his life.

It was a treat to see Miller, who is accustomed to playing large outdoor amphitheaters, perform in a relatively intimate venue. He certainly provided plenty of bang for the buck by delivering a two-hour set.

Miller was joined by numerous guests, including Raitt and Thorogood. Unfortunately, Huey Lewis, who was scheduled to perform with Miller, didn't make it. Miller announced that Lewis was stuck in Montana, which was a shame, since it would've been fun for fans to see the two Bay Area music legends trade vocals.

Miller connected most strongly with the audience when he booked through his greatest hits. Thousands of voices joined in the choruses to such favorites as "Take the Money and Run," "Jet Airliner" and "Jungle Love."

There was, of course, one voice missing, one that will be missed for years to come. This evening was a chance for performers and fans to say farewell. The goodbye was one nobody wanted to make, yet it was said through the joy of song. Norton, one tends to believe, would have wanted it that way.

red dog


amanda, austin, d and i spent an amazing night at the fox theater at a tribute for my uncle, norton buffalo. lisa got all four of us all access passes and we watched most of the show from backstage. the doobie brothers were the musical highlight of the night, though austin and i were completely starstruck to meet bonnie raitt. george thorogood ate dinner with us and we were introduced to elvin bishop's guitar 'red dog' and wavy gravy walked his trout next to us. ;) yes we're yokels and we were thrilled to rub elbows in the fox hole and drink tequila with roy rogers and jerry brown (attorney general...?) among others.

the night cannot be summed up in words... thank you again lisa for your generosity. this was a once in a lifetime experience.

videos to follow.

j lohr winery event


s&b has a chocolate and wine pairing event going on at j lohr winery on saturday february 13th at 3.30. tickets are only $10 a person for SIX wines and SIX chocolates. that's a steal! we paired the wines and the variety is awesome.

from their website:

In this educational event, confectioners from Snake & Butterfly will be presenting their own hand made fair trade, organic chocolate, specially paired with six J. Lohr wines. Guests will learn more about single source chocolates, and also have an opportunity to explore different tastes, aromas and combinations with wine.