thursday 13: week 6

13 things you don't know about me

1) i won a young authors award in 2nd grade for my story _the possum without a tail_

2) i'm extremely uncoordinated in some regards. mainly in ways that involve sports that don't take place in the water. read: i suck at any sport that involves a ball or a team.

3) when i'm really stressed out i empty the cabinets in the kitchen or bathroom or bedroom and reorganize them, getting rid of things along the way.

4) i love to iron; i find it soothing. there's something terrifically satisfying about taking wrinkly clothes and making them smooth.

5) i have a very long torso and i hate showing my tummy. this makes bathing suit shopping very interesting. i strongly prefer to wear a one piece suit and it's almost impossible to find one that doesn't ride up in the back or pull down in the front.

6) i don't believe in god (or the devil or heaven or hell i guess). there, i said it. this doesn't make me sad or frightened. it doesn't make me question anyone else's belief in god. i used to identify as an agnostic. then as an atheist. then as a humanist. after watching a fabulous documentary with d i realized that i'm a post-theist. i sometimes crave the community that a church lends itself to and most closely identify with judaism in that regard.

7) i feel like i should really hate john mayer because it's politically correct. but i don't. i love his music and think he's pretty gorgeous. so sue me.

8) i really can't stand cartoons. except the simpsons and that's tolerable for the writing and the voices.

9) i learned to drive a stick shift when i was 15. i think driving an automatic is boring and unless i have to commute in stop and go traffic i plan on driving one forever.

10) i never wanted to own my own business. it seemed too risky and unstable. now i own a chocolate company (and would give anything right now to have a piece of see's candy from the nuts and chews box) and i love the freedom it affords me.

11) i snuck into the movies for the first time in my life last weekend.

12) the kids and i hot tub almost every day, all year round.

13) i have a yin yang tattoo on my chest over where my cancer was. this is the closest i've come to balance in my life since i had it put there 10+ years ago.

pow pow

there's been a series of breakins in our neighborhood. my car has been broken into twice, d had his window smashed and gps stolen. neighbors' bikes have been stolen. sheds have been broken into and other things (including groceries) have been taken. so far it hasn't escalated to home invasions or anything violent. we're pretty sure it's teens who live around here. we live in a very safe area. but still. it's creepy to know that someone has rifled through our things.

we're gun owners. we have a shotgun and a rifle. i never thought i'd live in a 'gun' house but alas i do. and i hate to admit it, it makes me feel safe-ish. the guns are unloaded, dismantled and locked up in various places. the kids have held them and we regularly have discussions regarding gun safety. (lorenzo, what do you do if you find a gun and you don't know if it's real or not? "don't touch it. go and get a grownup.") after all this recent activity i'm tempted to by a giant poster for the front window that says: we're gun owners asshole. or, barring that, something that indicates that we're part of the NRA (we aren't). nothing like home security. d's installing an alarm and a camera system. ;)

free write

this one hasn't happened in a while. the printer is on the fritz and there is a slew of weddings in the work. (it's hard for me to not backspace and undo the mistakes i'm making alonh the way.) ha! read a blog of a little girl who just passed aweay. her parents wrote honestly and religiously i cannot relate but found myself bawlign while reading it. she's just seven and looks reminds me of miss p from behind. pause to helpt the printer. tell renzo his daddy will be here soon and he questions me "who? r?" yes, that daddy. "i don't like to spend time with him today." er well okay. i don't know what to say. later in the car after 76 bajillion errands it is "parker and you and me and d live in our house and i think tht is enough? do you mama?" yes renzo. i do. "i love this family mama." me too. and the sudden burst of spring is not only perfect for chocolate but for chocolate sales and wandering around the maket and making you feel alive in spite of cancer whirling around you. not in you but in family and friends who might as well be family. (bouncing printer calls again. hold on. ) hard to work on this in the dark but d is asleep and the kids had been bribed with a movie about a chimp so that we could, ya know. the best kind of snooze. cat little to block as a doorstop. and now it's time for the kitchen and new beginnings in tiny grocery stores and coffee shops and can we visit your little factory. but then there's the pot cookie guy to contend witha nd he wants a piece of the action but then don't we all? whew, five minutes already. maybe it'll be a daily thing this week.