thursday 13: week 9

13 things about kids and parenting

1) it's really really flipping hard: from birth until now, over six years later, it has been hard, on a daily basis. some days are harder than others.

2) it's worth it.

3) you can't say with certainty before you have children that you'll 'never' or 'always' anything. 'i will never allow my kids to leave the house in filthy halloween costumes...six months after halloween.' oh really? hah! 'i will always make sure my children have their hair neatly combed. no matter what.' hmm, didn't anticipate your daughter's cotton candy hair and extremely delicate scalp did you? some days, i'll admit, it isn't worth the fight.

4) i don't regret any of the crunchier-than-thou decisions i've made along the way. despite arguments with friends, family, doctors, and strangers about home-birthing, extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, cloth-diapering, leaving my son intact and not vaxxing i am totally confident and at peace with the large choices i've made so far.

5) yelling doesn't help. while it may make me feel better momentarily it doesn't fix the situation, it only escalates it. i'm proud of how rarely i yell now. and i always apologize when i do.

6) the older my kids get, the more i enjoy them. while i love the idea of snugly newborns i like the reality of school aged kids more.

7) kids are resilient. despite some major drama early on, my kids are awfully well adjusted.

8) by age nine kids hear, process, and repeat everything. (see: d2.) be mindful.

9) i'm so glad i started young. i am completely sapped at the end of the day and...i have youth on my side.

10) if there isn't a bone poking through the skin or blood gushing out...they'll be fine. i've never been a nervous mom. i tend to wait three seconds when i hear a thump or a cry before i (slowly) get up to investigate. my instincts have so far been spot on. when i saw lorenzo's head spurting blood a couple weeks ago (see photos below) i sprang into (calm) action and dealt with it quickly and effectively.

11) i do blood and poop but i don't do barf. m'kay?

12) kids are fairly good at self-regulation. parker, d2 and lorenzo were given no limits on how much easter candy they ate this week. i told them they could have as much as they wanted and reminded them that TOO much would probably make them feel yucky. lorenzo ate almost none despite the fact that it was on the counter all day every day and he is generally there eating around the clock. he chose his usuals: salads, eggs, whole avocados... parker took a couple pieces to eat after snack at school and ate a piece or two after she got home every day. d2 made himself completely sick the first day, learned his lesson and ate less the next few days. ;)

13) i will snuggle my kids until they are physically able to escape me.

zee library or another bracing post

has anyone read anthony browne's children's book into the forest (not to be confused with the also fantastic and dark jean hegland's novel into the forest)? one of the kids picked this up at the library today and i must confess, i sort of love bizarre, dark, and vaguely haunting and perhaps inappropriate books for kids (dear mili by maurice sendack anyone?). i suspect the creepiness of this story went over parker and lorenzo's heads but this is one i'll sit and look at tomorrow on my own. 

and, for not the first time i stumbled on a great rental at the library: the proposition, a film written by nick cave, starring ray winstone, emma watson, william hurt and guy pearce (from memento). this film is set in the outback of australia in the late 19th century and is completely disturbing...but well done. very violent, but not without cause...

'When?' said the moon to the stars in the sky

'Soon' said the wind that followed them all

'Who?' said the cloud that started to cry

'Me' said the rider as dry as a bone

'How?' said the sun that melted the ground

and 'Why?' said the river that refused to run

and 'Where?' said the thunder without a sound

'Here' said the rider and took up his gun

'No' said the stars to the moon in the sky

'No' said the trees that started to moan

'No' said the dust that blunted its eyes

'Yes' said the rider as white as a bone

'No' said the moon that rose from his sleep

'No' said the cry of the dying sun

'No' said the planet as it started to weep

'Yes' said the rider and laid down his gun

-nick cave & the bad seeds 'the rider song'

thursday 13: week 8

13 careers i either really want or really don't want

1) forensic psychologist - before i got pregnant with parker this is what i wanted to do...get my law degree, interview people accused of heinous crimes and be an expert witness in their trials.

2) the lady that gives you the number at the dmv - after my experience at the dmv this morning (two hours waiting with a three year old hopped up on a donut) i feel for the bitchy lady who gives you your number and tells you to have a seat.

3) kindergarten teacher - i won't lie, miss p's teacher is my hero. the way she controls a room of twenty rambunctious five and six year olds is impressive. aaaaand it sort of makes me want to be her.

4) a writer - but with all the trappings of living in france and writing in coffee shops.

5) anthony bourdain - is that a career? because i want it.

6) a home stager - i don't know why but this intrigues me. interior design, but for fake people. or something.

7) a waitress - this is a job i would fuck up. badly. i have nightmares about being a waitress. god help anyone that i would have to serve. i'm sure i'd be crying before one shift was through.

8) a cave explorer/mine worker - or really anything that involves being in tight spaces. i'm terrified of the idea of squeezing my body into a spot that it barely fits into and not being able to get out. not sure what careers require this but count me out.

9) a personal shopper - spending other people's money and making them look good? yeah, that sounds fun!

10) an forensic anthropologist - i've talked about my favorite college class here before and this would truly be a dream job for me.

11) a trucker - i loathe driving alone when i'm tired. and i'm pretty sure trucking involves that.

12) a university professor - i love academia. does that sound snobbish? maybe it is. i like being around people who enjoy learning. i'd love to teach literature or creative writing at a university like scu.

13) an editor - i'd like to edit novels. sensing a theme?