i think my days with baby days are over. lorenzo is down to nursing one or two times a day and just based on his vocabulary (my lord how this child talks... 'come in ma paaaarty er'body! parker in my house! in my house er'body!') and eating habits alone (he weighs more than miss p) he's well into toddlerhood. i'm feeling bittersweet about this. d reminded me of something that lorenzo was doing almost a year ago (covering his mouth when he coughed at 15 months) when we first met and it made me realize how little i remember of his babyhood. so much energy was focused on getting us through it all. 'renzo was not quite 5 months old when bk left. a tiny baby. to my recollection the kids were like ragdolls that i was dragging along, all of us confused. yes, that pisses me off.
the upside of all this growing up stuff it the next phase. i love the grade school stuff. packing lunches, homework help, simple school projects, class performances. plus the idea of being able to take the three on camping trips and going hiking and not changing diapers. and parker and d2 have such interesting observations, such a terrifically bizarre and wonderful way of looking at the world; they're really small human beings y'all. oh yeah and i'll be able to devote x hours a day to chocolate (or whatever). so no, i won't miss picking up magnets/dolls/legos/crumbs 75 bajillion times a day.
i held forrest and heather's new baby for about a half hour a couple weeks ago and got that familiar womb aching feeling as she fell asleep in my arms. newborns are so cozy and smell so delicious and i was sad to give her back. that said, my experience of my OWN newborns is clouded by nearly debilitating post-partum depression that caused me to not enjoy (or remember) most of the early months. while i luuuuurved being pregnant, the first 6 months with both kids were rather miserable, aside from some beautiful moments which were thankfully captured on film.
i don't think i'll ever know how much having children contributed to the breakup of my marriage. i suspect it was the lion's share. not the kids themselves but the fact that having kids more clearly defined for me what was important, who i am, and the things that i do (and do not) require for myself. i think it redefined in bk's mind who i was: i was mother and then i was his wife. lots of men can't handle coming in second to a child (i mean where the attention is primarily focused). and i believe that most women are plain and simple wired to put children first. i think this becomes blazingly apparent to single parents (women and men) in new relationships. one of d's relationships ended (at least in part) because the woman couldn't understand that she'd never trump d2. nevereverever. d and i had this understanding before we met. we're in the same (very tippy and child filled) boat.
honestly, i love my relationship with d the way it is now. we have fantastic chemistry. yes, he's a hard-headed pain in the ass sometimes but then, so am i. i like that we have the best of both. we get to date and we have the comfort of a family-type relationship. i like that he's willing to look at himself and that he makes me feel like i don't have to keep all the balls in the air at once. moving on: let's speak hypothetically for a moment and pretend that d and i were to get married at some point in the moderately distant future. statistics plainly show that second marriages fail more often than first and those fail a lot. second marriages with children fail twice as often as second marriages without children (no shock there). second marriages with yours, mine, and ours fail even more often. no, a common baby doesn't tie the two families together (necessarily). marriage is hard. children make it harder. more children make it even harder.
so no thanks, i think i'll stick to borrowing babies from now on. erica, is yours ready yet?
the upside of all this growing up stuff it the next phase. i love the grade school stuff. packing lunches, homework help, simple school projects, class performances. plus the idea of being able to take the three on camping trips and going hiking and not changing diapers. and parker and d2 have such interesting observations, such a terrifically bizarre and wonderful way of looking at the world; they're really small human beings y'all. oh yeah and i'll be able to devote x hours a day to chocolate (or whatever). so no, i won't miss picking up magnets/dolls/legos/crumbs 75 bajillion times a day.
i held forrest and heather's new baby for about a half hour a couple weeks ago and got that familiar womb aching feeling as she fell asleep in my arms. newborns are so cozy and smell so delicious and i was sad to give her back. that said, my experience of my OWN newborns is clouded by nearly debilitating post-partum depression that caused me to not enjoy (or remember) most of the early months. while i luuuuurved being pregnant, the first 6 months with both kids were rather miserable, aside from some beautiful moments which were thankfully captured on film.
i don't think i'll ever know how much having children contributed to the breakup of my marriage. i suspect it was the lion's share. not the kids themselves but the fact that having kids more clearly defined for me what was important, who i am, and the things that i do (and do not) require for myself. i think it redefined in bk's mind who i was: i was mother and then i was his wife. lots of men can't handle coming in second to a child (i mean where the attention is primarily focused). and i believe that most women are plain and simple wired to put children first. i think this becomes blazingly apparent to single parents (women and men) in new relationships. one of d's relationships ended (at least in part) because the woman couldn't understand that she'd never trump d2. nevereverever. d and i had this understanding before we met. we're in the same (very tippy and child filled) boat.
honestly, i love my relationship with d the way it is now. we have fantastic chemistry. yes, he's a hard-headed pain in the ass sometimes but then, so am i. i like that we have the best of both. we get to date and we have the comfort of a family-type relationship. i like that he's willing to look at himself and that he makes me feel like i don't have to keep all the balls in the air at once. moving on: let's speak hypothetically for a moment and pretend that d and i were to get married at some point in the moderately distant future. statistics plainly show that second marriages fail more often than first and those fail a lot. second marriages with children fail twice as often as second marriages without children (no shock there). second marriages with yours, mine, and ours fail even more often. no, a common baby doesn't tie the two families together (necessarily). marriage is hard. children make it harder. more children make it even harder.
so no thanks, i think i'll stick to borrowing babies from now on. erica, is yours ready yet?